Back in the olden days, the eighties, when watch calculators were a thing, and short shorts and jandals were a requirement for wearing to the pub, Mateus Rosé was middle class fancy.

I don’t know how they did it, either drinking this rubbish or wearing shorts that tight (the watches were cool though).  My first thoughts when drinking this was ‘this is sweeter than that time I ate a bag of sugar, and washed it down with coke concentrate’, and ‘type two diabetes here I come’.

This was horrible.  On the plus side it wasn’t super high in alcohol so if you accidentally bought it, but don’t want to taste it, just chuck it in the freezer for an hour to get super cold and skull it.  I did.

3 out of 5 Seals for a Heidi